Inside Out 2

Disney is one of my favorite brands in the world, and Pixar has cemented itself as my favorite Disney brand. More often than not, I’ll laugh, cry and learn after watching a Pixar film - this time was not different with Inside Out 2. 

Going to the theaters gave me a moment to breathe and learn about myself.

The character I deeply connected with was Anxiety. I saw so much of myself in her. I didn’t realize how anxious I am on a day-to-day basis until seeing how Anxiety operated on a screen.

I’m so caught up in my day that I fail to acknowledge my own feelings at times. Always running from one thing to the next. No time to feel. Must keep moving forward.

Diving into my own psychology, my brain is wired to be purpose-driven, forward-thinking and goal-oriented. When I die, I want to look back and confidently say "I lived a life true to myself.”

To do so, I’ll work backwards from death to identify the milestones I need to accomplish. Once I set my mind on a goal, I’ll do everything I possibly can to achieve it.

With hard work and resolve, anything is possible. However, too much of this belief coupled with anxiety leads me down a dark path. It pushes me to play God in my own life and control excessively.

I always need a plan. Protect myself from worst case scenarios. Set myself up for best case scenarios.

Whenever there is a major roadblock, I’ll Brain-Storm a big idea to overcome it. I’ll tunnel vision and relentlessly execute. I’ll lose sight on what’s most important in life - my health and the people I love.

The amount of work and stress becomes too overwhelming and I break down. I lose myself in the pursuit. My personality and Belief System changes.

Faith → Fear. Optimistic → Pessimistic. Dreamer → Pragmatist. Extroverted → Introverted. Secure → Insecure. Confident → Doubtful.

“Anything is possible.” → “I’m not good enough.” 

After being burnt out, I’ll reset and reprioritize my life around my well-being and my family and friends.

Once I am recharged to grind again, the cycle repeats itself.

I acknowledge this can be a vicious cycle. In the process, I unintentionally hurt myself and at times, those around me. I need a more sustainable and healthier way to operate. I need a new Belief System.

What I found to be helpful so far is to let go.

There are way more things out of my control than things that are. I need to surrender what I can’t control to a higher power. I need to surrender to God.

Surrendering empowers me to stay present and embrace Joy - the Joy for life.